“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
~ Jerry Seinfeld
Motherhood is the king of all sports. This is why we wear workout clothes every day.
One kid says to another, “I’m really worried. My dad works all the time so we can have stuff we want and my mom spends all her time driving me places and cooking. I’m worried sick!”
The other kid says, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”
The first kid says, “What if they try to escape?”
Mom walked to the garage to talk to dad. “Tomorrow I am going to take Casey to the Zoo.” Without even looking up he replies, “Just be patient, if they want him, they will come get him.”
Being a parent is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.
Having one child makes you a parent. Having two children makes you a referee. Three or more? Now you are just a bouncer.
Recipe for Iced Coffee
1. Have kids
2. Make coffee
3. Forget you made coffee
4. Drink cold coffee
Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can’t find it. Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.