A Repurposed Heart

Even on our darkest days, when we feel completely

alone,

we can still find light in our story. Don't stop searching yet.
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Beautiful Things Happen When We Find Light

Chapter One

My search started with a broken why. I wanted to know why despite having a family who loved me, a God who redeemed me, and friends who encouraged me, I still felt alone. There was still this sadness inside I could not explain. A disconnect. A longing. I should be full of joy with all these blessings. I had Jesus, and according to what everyone told me and taught me, that was all I should ever need for happiness. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. Life was supposed to be good. I was supposed to be good. I was supposed to be joyful.

But I wasn't.

Out of frustration, I started asking why. I started searching—knowing there had to some answer I had missed. Some step I did wrong. I checked all the boxes, so why was life not a shiny glimmer of perfect? I started searching for answers within the one thing I knew well. The words.

Chapter One

My search started with a broken why. I wanted to know why despite having a family who loved me, a God who redeemed me, and friends who encouraged me, I still felt alone. There was still this sadness inside I could not explain. A disconnect. A longing. I should be full of joy with all these blessings. I had Jesus, and according to what everyone told me and taught me, that was all I should ever need for happiness. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. Life was supposed to be good. I was supposed to be good. I was supposed to be joyful.

But I wasn't.

Out of frustration, I started asking why. I started searching—knowing there had to some answer I had missed. Some step I did wrong. I checked all the boxes, so why was life not a shiny glimmer of perfect? I started searching for answers within the one thing I knew well. The words.

It All Started with

The Search Begins

I had always learned from the words. They had been my comfort as long as I could remember. I found my best self within my writing. There was peace in the journaling, escape in the stories, and beauty in the poems. But then . . . life.

I realized the only thing I had been writing lately was a to-do list. More checked boxes. I had just been going through the motions like everyone else, just trying to survive. But as I began my search for whatever was missing, I returned to writing. The story I started with was my own. And what I found within it was His.

A story of tragedy to triumph and rescue to redemption. A story that was not finished. I had been living as if God was done with me. But he was just getting started.

When my words met my faith, I began to see my story through His why instead of my own. The day I allowed my gifts to meet my God, everything changed. I had let God redeem my heart, but I had never let Him repurpose it. There were still so many chapters left to be written.

The Search Begins

I had always learned from the words. They had been my comfort as long as I could remember. I found my best self within my writing. There was peace in the journaling, escape in the stories, and beauty in the poems. But then . . . life.

I realized the only thing I had been writing lately was a to-do list. More checked boxes. I had just been going through the motions like everyone else, just trying to survive. But as I began my search for whatever was missing, I returned to writing. The story I started with was my own. And what I found within it was His.

A story of tragedy to triumph and rescue to redemption. A story that was not finished. I had been living as if God was done with me. But he was just getting started.

When my words met my faith, I began to see my story through His why instead of my own. The day I allowed my gifts to meet my God, everything changed. I had let God redeem my heart, but I had never let Him repurpose it. There were still so many chapters left to be written.

WriteThrough Yours

A New Chapter

I still feel lonely sometimes. I still get frustrated and sad and hurt. I still make mistakes. But as I walk imperfectly with purpose, I understand joy is not a one-time arrival, but an ongoing journey that requires a constant search for light. What I longed for could not be found one time and held forever. It was more of a search forever and celebrate every find.

Instead of just sitting in the dark, hoping my faith could be lived from outside in, I started walking in search of the light from the inside out. I found it in my story seen through His eyes. And I found it when I listened to other people tell theirs.

People sitting in the loneliness of a crowded room, praying for someone to understand how they felt, desperately looking for a reason for it all to matter. I wanted them to be able to see what I could see. I wanted them to know they could search for light in their story, too. So, I wrote.

I shared. I told. My pain. My fears. My mistakes. My regrets. My joy. My heart.

My redeemed heart. My repurposed heart. A heart that now had a mission through my words. His mission. To speak out loud about the hard things in my story and to search for the light within it so others could see the light in theirs. So they may know, even though some days feel that way, they have never been alone.

A New Chapter

I still feel lonely sometimes. I still get frustrated and sad and hurt. I still make mistakes. But as I walk imperfectly with purpose, I understand joy is not a one-time arrival, but an ongoing journey that requires a constant search for light. What I longed for could not be found one time and held forever. It was more of a search forever and celebrate every find.

Instead of just sitting in the dark, hoping my faith could be lived from outside in, I started walking in search of the light from the inside out. I found it in my story seen through His eyes. And I found it when I listened to other people tell theirs.

People sitting in the loneliness of a crowded room, praying for someone to understand how they felt, desperately looking for a reason for it all to matter. I wanted them to be able to see what I could see. I wanted them to know they could search for light in their story, too. So, I wrote.

I shared. I told. My pain. My fears. My mistakes. My regrets. My joy. My heart.

My redeemed heart. My repurposed heart. A heart that now had a mission through my words. His mission. To speak out loud about the hard things in my story and to search for the light within it so others could see the light in theirs. So they may know, even though some days feel that way, they have never been alone.

Search forin the Story

The Story Continues

And after that life was perfect! Nope. I have a little secret for you. Repurposed isn’t perfect. The joy I discover, the wisdom that I gain, the hope I hold on to, and the light that I find often slips right through my hands. There are days the trouble of this world and the critic in my head overwhelm me and leave me sitting right back in the dark. The only thing I can do is renew my mind, stand back up, and try again. To renew the search. No matter how dark it gets, I will still be here, authentically telling about the struggle and the light. I pray every day I find the light to reach for. And I pray every day I can give some to you, perfect or not.

“There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

~ Edith Wharton

My Light Source

It would be so easy to just go with the flow of the world, continuing to feel small and alone. But my God says that is not who I am. I am His. I am the Daughter of a King. Blessed in His sight. And I am never alone for He walks with me in and out of the fire. These are His promises for me. These are also His promises for you. His words are what keep me looking toward the source of the light even on the darkest days. And I have good news, there is plenty to share.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”

~ Desmond Tutu

Words vs. Light

One of the joys and challenges of my creative mind is that I rarely stay in my lane. I love to write everything—poems, fiction, nonfiction, devotionals, short stories, and more. I am intrigued by the serious and captured by laughter. Taught by the personal and enlightened by the imagination and fun. Since life seems to provide an abundance of both human and humor, I write both.

And you can read both. Under Words, I share the personal and poetic. The tragedy and triumph. These are stories of faith and folly. Tales of realization and redemption. A collection of emotion and life that shares my human with your human so you know you are not in this alone.

Under Light, you will find the fun, the funny, and the fiction. This section is full of things to help lighten the load, including jokes, book reviews, fun with words, and journal prompts. You also will find tools for leadership and life that grow us and teach us how to be better humans, both for ourselves and each other.

Which way will you go on the search today? Will you head for stories of seriousness or something lighter? No matter which one you choose, they are all inspirational arrows that point to the light of the story.

Words

Tell Me a Story

Join me as I explore the adventures of life and the lessons that hit home. These personal stories, poetry, and devotions dive deep into the things that make us such beautiful creations. All captured in words.

Light

Time to Shine

Head this way for something a little lighter. You will find locations you'll love, laughter you need, and resources you'll enjoy. From inspirational fun to the tools we need to grow, there is something for everyone to brighten their day. 

“As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.”

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

“Just as one candle lights another and can light thousands of other candles, so one heart illuminates another heart and can illuminate thousands of other hearts.”

~ Leo Tolstoy

Ready to Find Your Favorite?

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Join me for this dive into the lives of two women determined to make a difference in the world, a world that started in Memphis, TN.
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