The other day I saw a conversation online where someone was asking for proof that God exists. Reading all the responses made me start asking myself how I would answer that question if someone asked me. What would I say? What answer would I give? It weighed heavy on my heart even as I laid my head upon my pillow that night. I considered it my responsibility to have a response, but I was struggling to find the best words to give.
I have read my Bible. I have been to Sunday school and small groups and studied the yeas and nays and the pros and cons. I have read books and tried to memorize facts, all in an attempt to have an answer for those who ask that would not make me look like a know-it-all or a know-nothing. However, those facts are hard to remember (especially as I get older) and some of that science is really far over my head. When I added how the history dates get all jumbled up in my brain and my words get jumbled up in my mouth, all I ended up with was spending a minute shaming myself for not knowing what I thought I should know. Then He reminded me that I already had everything I need.
I do have proof.
Me. The only evidence I truly have is mine.
I could quote science or scripture to you all day long, but neither will probably convince you fully. There is only one person who can do that. Jesus. He was the only one who could convince me.
The evidence I hold is unmistakable proof for me. Watching the impossible become possible. Understanding I never could have gained by myself. Granted wisdom. Unfailing love. Forgiven grace. Trust that went beyond what I was capable of. Love that made no sense in the definition of love I knew.
Overwhelming proof. Seeing a rough and tumble, broken and hurt, foster kid become healed inside and out. Finding the literal God-given ability to love other people in moments they were not looking very loveable. Realizing that all the things I considered strengths were actually baggage and burden and the things I considered weak were the keys that unshackled my soul. I don’t remember all the how come’s and why that’s of proving God exists. I can only remember that in 1999, I said yes to a God I could not see, standing on a shaky path, unsure of what was to come. I was tired and terrified of spending one more day living a life or a lie constantly questioning if anyone loved me or if I had a reason for being here. I spent the next several years after that trying to test whether what He said about himself and what He said about me was true, like a child who desperately needed to know who and what was real and what was safe.
It was all true. Every word. I am loved. I am forgiven. He has never left my side even though I have skipped out several times . . . and He has been there every time I came running back. It’s not something you can find in a book or podcast or in a webinar. It is not something you can be taught. It is not a battle you win in the comments section, although it is a battle. It is a personal one. It is inside and out. It is a spirit that moves in you that you cannot dismiss. It is between you and Him. These are the things I know. This are the things I can prove. The only way you will find evidence for what you seek is for you to prove it yourself. This is a discovery no one else can make for you.
The only thing I can do for you is tell you about what He did for me and how to reach Him if you want to know more. But the evidence will only ever be what you allow it to be. The only place you will find the truth is in the mirror. At least it was that way for me.
That was all the proof I needed. So now, the real question becomes . . . what proof do you need?
