I closed my eyes. Just take a deep breath. Just do the next thing. One foot in front of the other. I opened my eyes and looked at the ever-growing disaster of paper on my desk and sighed. Why am I still here? Why am I still doing this?
This thought had been haunting me for months as I had watched my anxiety and exhaustion spiral. I went home every day tired and no matter what health kick I went on or new stress reliever plan I tried, I woke up the same way. My problem wasn’t this pile of paper. My problem was my inability to say no to this paper. Everything else was just a symptom.
It’s no longer a question that this insanity had to end, it was now a fact. Deep in my spirit I had learned enough to know a good life was not measured by checking the boxes but by knowing why I was checking the boxes. I had no doubt that this job, this expectation, and this meager living were not why I was checking the boxes, but instead endless shoulds and have-tos that I had created along the way.
I turned and stared at the row of exhausted people across the room. Suddenly, something broke as the misery of staying finally overcame the guilt of walking away. I grabbed my favorite pen, my coffee, my purse, and I stood up and walked out of that office and into my new life.
